happy cold season to you

October 4, 2010

It’s that time of year again: I’m sick.  Woohoo?  Funny thing is that I’ve been taking care of myself, am getting one of the culprits of last year’s (and the year before’s, and the year before that’s…) lingering illnesses treated, am getting more or less enough sleep, and eat well at least some of the time.  All of which are a big improvement for me.

But then, the partner got sick, and I got his illness.  Boooooooooooo.

So today I’m at home (about to go back to bed).  It kills me to not go to work today, since I’m going out of town later this week, have a lot on my plate, am kind of in the hot seat still, and more importantly, I actually want to get my stuff done.  I had this little dialogue in my head this morning, during my decision-making process.

mean voice: You know, your advisor is going to hate you even more if you’re out sick today and miss meeting on Friday when you’re traveling…
voice of reason: Shut up, he’s not the boss of me.
mean voice: Actually, he kind of is.
voice of reason: Damn.  Well, you’re too sick to work, and you’ll just end up with your head on your desk wishing you’d stayed home by the end of the day.
mean voice: Yesterday you felt well enough to sit around and read a fantasy novel for hours, so how is that different from reading journal papers or working on a computer?
voice of reason: I was only awake for those hours.  It wasn’t very many.  Stupid comparison.  You also can’t take a nap at work, nor is it considered polite to gargle saltwater and spit out contagion in the public restroom every couple of hours, and these are both things you’ll need to be doing today.
mean voice: But you rested all weekend, did all the good voice of reason-y things you were supposed to.  You didn’t go to the beer festival, you didn’t play ultimate, you slept a lot and probably drank four gallons of honey-lemon tea.  The good and proper grad student you were pretending to be this weekend would suck it up and go to work.
voice of reason: You just implied that a proper grad student would have stayed home sick from the beer festival and not played frisbee.  I’m not listening to you anymore, as you’re clearly delusional.
mean voice: Oh shit, you’re right.  What am I saying?  If you were sick enough to skip a beer festival you’d been looking forward to for a year, you’re totally sick enough to stay home from work.  Good thinking, voice of reason.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was honest-to-god how I decided it was okay to stay home today (y’know, at least the reasoning here, not the voices so much).  *beats head on wall*


One comment

  1. It is very reassuring to know that someone else has conversations with themselves like this.

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