dear verizon, kindly go to hell

September 24, 2011

The fun just doesn’t end!

My phone broke last night.  Really, it broke last August, but it wasn’t non-functional broken, just really-hard-to-read-the-screen-and-I-have-to-guess-the-rightmost-quarter-of-text-messages-from-context broken.  Now it is non-functional broken.

So today, I went shopping for a replacement phone.  I checked a few things to make sure I wouldn’t have to buy directly from Verizon (because they can go fuck themselves — I am not letting them directly make more than the contractually obligated amount of money off of me at this point).  I did a bit of research into my most expedient and cheapest options, and I decided to go to the non-Verizon cell phone store to get a phone advertised at $80.  Not cheap, but whatever, it was quick.

Guess what?  Verizon wins again.  The $80 phone was a prepaid phone — I knew this going in — but even though Verizon will support this phone on both prepaid and contract plans, these $80 phones don’t work with contract plans.  As in, Verizon refuses to let you carry it on a contract plan, just like they’ll refuse to give you service on a smart phone (even an unlocked one without a contract) unless you buy a data plan.

As in, Verizon has found yet another way to fuck me over.  The same damn phone with a serial number that permits a contract plan costs $250.  Unless I buy a new contract — then it’s “free.”  Yeah, free with the cost of suffering through three more years of your bullshit instead of just one.

This defies all normal human logic.  If someone buys the $80 phone, likes it, likes Verizon (because they’re insane or something) and wants to move to a contract, then they have to buy another of the same phone.  What a fucking waste.  But obviously, it makes Verizon lots of cash, or they wouldn’t do something so ridiculous.

I hate Verizon with the fiery passion of ten thousand suns.  It’s made so much worse by the fact that all of their customer service people are really damn nice.  They fuck you over ever so politely.  It’s like someone confessing to murder while smiling and eating a lollipop.

I am beginning to very seriously weigh the costs of just getting out of my contract earlier and getting a new carrier.





  1. Try Credo. Tell them I sent you. You can get a buy-out of the contract, too.

    Unfortunately, they do the same stupid crap with locked phones. I think it is due to a lack of imagination. But that may just be me.

  2. maybe this is too obvious and you’ve already tried it… but when my tmobile phone died this summer, I was able to go pick up a prepaid phone from Target and just drop my sim card in – no changes, no problems, tmobile doesn’t even know I have a new phone.

  3. Verizon gone TOO FAR! Play to be RICH! This must STOP!!!!

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