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confidence, you elusive thing you

October 21, 2011

You know how sometimes you’re absolutely and utterly terrified of doing something, because you don’t know what you’re doing and you’re afraid you’ll get completely shot down by your peers and/or superiors?  And you put it off and put it off and keep putting it off until it’s not just terrifying, but seems like the scariest single thing in your life?

Okay, maybe it’s just me.

But then you actually just grit your teeth and look away and hit “SEND” on the email doing this scary thing?  And you sweat and sweat and sweat …

… until the answer comes back: “Yes!  Please!  Do write lots and lots for us and we will pay you money!  We love you and miss you and want your byline in our paper!  I’ve attached a contract so we’ll be ready to go!”

Yeah, so now I feel silly.  But mostly just awesome.

I was absolutely terrified of trying to get my bearings as a freelance and putting myself out there for the first time, but some excellent advice I got from one of the ex-staff writers at the regional paper combined with the confidence boost of having people welcome me wholeheartedly at a writing conference made me finally just suck it up and do it.  And now I’m feeling pretty glad I did.

It’s been a good week.  Except I’m getting sick and the start date for my new job got pushed back again, but other than that, a good week.

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